When we see someone in pain, it’s natural to be angry at the source of that pain. Our first response is to dry up the tears and plant a smile. Do we ever think that they did something so heinous that they should drown in their tears? Do we ever stop to consider that our comfort is meant for the person on the other end of those tears? People commit the largest act of disloyalty and shed tears not because they are ready to make amends, but because “they” lost someone loyal in the process. We preach forgiveness without educating people when a person is eligible to be forgiven or what forgiveness truly is. Forgiveness is the ability to recover from pain/betrayal. It’s having the peace of mind to emotionally and spiritually move past an event/s which harden the heart and cloud a person’s judgment. When is a person eligible for forgiveness? 1). When the person forgiving has a great reason to grant a second chance. 2). When they can fully accept that the action occurred but can clear the slate (not forgotten), and 3) When the person being forgiven not only shows why they should be forgiven, but give an adequate reason why the betrayal occurred in the first place. We have all been around people that have done wrong and tried to point out how something we did was the direct cause of that wrong. We have all encountered a person apologizing, but in the same breath implying that we’re being too hard on them. People find a way to emotionally blackmail us into believing we’re victimizing them. They find ways to offset their wrongs by pointing out wrong in us. This is a clever way to gain forgiveness, by concocting a reason to grant forgiveness. In a nut shell, forgiveness takes place within a person, not between two people because if a person hasn’t taken the steps to move passed the trauma, there isn’t anything the other person can do to change the pain/betrayal of their actions!!!!