Depleted to Renew

December 20, 2012



My heart is buried so deep in depression, it has me feeling oppressed. Losing someone that holds your future is hard, but making them your past is even harder. We waltzed around forever; so many times we ended up back where we started. She refused to fight for us, and I got fed up with fighting her so we can be an us. The picture of my wife had her in the frame, but the idea of my life had thoughts of a more confident and self-assured woman. Our plan was to date until she understood her worth, but she started using my sense of worth to minimize feeling worthy. My heart fell, but my principles wouldnt allow me to stay down. Now, I am broken,  putting all the pieces back together; assessing all the wrong turns I made that prevented me from reaching my destination. I missed her the minute the door closed; now, I have to wait for one to open. I cant help but to hope she walks through, but it seems we are through. The reality of that reality forces me to be realistic and turn to my faith. The higher power won’t shorten my circuits without building a stronger version of me, allowing the electricity to pass through so I can let down my guards and be weak again. That person will dig my heart out and lead me to happiness!!!!

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About Aziz Brown

Hello, I am AmazinglyBrash. I am a Spanish Harlem NYC native that loves love and use it to inspire others to love. I am a grandson, son, nephew, brother, cousin, uncle, god father, best friend, friend, and first of all a human being. I'm an optimistic Idealist that believes if you don't like your reality, change it; but if you don't have the energy to make the change, make the best of it. I am open to hear your every thought; I am just not going to listen to every thought. I am a blunt, morally driven, outspoken, loving honest man that will not settle for liking someone, when I can grow to love them. I am a faithful believer in faith and believing. I never wish or hope when I can act on making it a reality. I enjoy romance but I am more intrigued by the honesty of a relationship than the complacency of just trying to relate. I enjoy the meeting of the minds but love meetings of hearts. Tough love is my gift to the world; loving tough is my reward from God. Education is something I give as well as receive. I am AmazinglyBrash; my intention is to allow you to get to truly know me!!!!

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12 Comments on “Depleted to Renew”

  1. coastalmom Says:

    I also wish that I had some crazily wise set of words to give to you that would take your pain away. I can tell you that I have been there before and time is the one perscription. Writing is the tool that will help you get through the agonizing times you feel you just can’t. And I promise you will look back at some of the things you write about now and smile, perhaps even laugh. But you will be on the otherside with new doors filled with even better opportunities for love. My one piece of advice is all you have is time… so take it slowly. Don’t settle. You are an AMAZING soul and you deserve better!
    May this NEW YEAR be your best yet!
    PS: We need to get another button to click! “LIKE” just doesn’t seem appropriate for a post so filled with pain. Ya know? But the writing was iconic and so I had to click!


    • AmazinglyBrash Says:

      Thanks for the words I appreciate every syllable….Time will only be the cure if I am productive with it. When I stop looking into the future and seeing her, is when I will start picturing a new future. I am waiting for her to fight for us because my beat still matches her rhythm and i still believe in the music we will make together. I am an Amazing Soul (That part warmed My heart) and I will continue to search for the mate that prefects my soul. Don’t worry about me settling because that is the cause of the pain; principle over emotion. They should always intertwine….so I am waiting for them both to align.

      P.S. Welcome back to the blogging world….I missed you!!!!


      • coastalmom Says:

        I missed you too! Thank you for taking time in my little nook and actually reading a CHAPTER from my book! My husband wants to send me to a writers seminar and not post more… but I just wanted to know from my bloggers if I had something at all worth anyone’s time to read… I wrote a bunch of chapters a few years ago and have been rewriting and editing… a much slower process than actually writing it.
        Hang in there my friend! I know that the new year will bring amazing blessings you never could have predicted and if I am so blessed… you and I will check back on this very day a year from now and evaluate all your answered prayers… maybe not what you may ask for today, maybe so… but I KNOW you will see the blessing in whatever they are. ;)
        I do know that. ;) Ya know?

      • AmazinglyBrash Says:

        If a seminar will enhance your writing then I believe you should explore that option. Your husband knows best…. OF course I took the time to read your work, I am interested in your thoughts and support your craft. Thanks for the positive thoughts, I am confident that my year will be same….more ups then downs. I hope your New Year brings you the same. I like the idea of us evaluating all that has changed in the next year….that means we would have been in touch for over a year by then. Hope your writing dream takes off!!!!

  2. yourothermotherhere Says:

    I wish I had something clever and witty to say to comfort you even a little bit so that your heart would lighten and fly up of it’s own accord…


    • AmazinglyBrash Says:

      Your words and support has been enough….saying something is enough in most cases. The heart is sensitive but not fragile….its made to feel the good and withstand the bad. Recovery will take time but I will recover….I am healing as we speak….thanks for the support mother!!!!


    • Thelma Says:

      Hey there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my zynga
      group? There’s a lot of folks that I think would really enjoy your content.
      Please let me know. Thanks


  3. Robyn Lee Says:

    I believe this too… Always Love yourself – keep the Faith – and the door will open- with wonderful gifts for you. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way AB for a wonderful new year ahead ~ RL


    • AmazinglyBrash Says:

      When someone walks away with the beating of your heart, its hard to make music again…. but the sound must resurface and the music must be played to resume life!!!! Happy newyear RL thanks for the support….


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