The Thought of You Leaving….
If your last breath suffocates you, I will spend the rest of my days breathing for two. I won’t wish for your life but I can hope for your spirit. I will fight my tears, losing the war by watching them overwhelm my eyes and crinkle my face. I am tired of being weak believing fighting the emotion is making me strong. I have been thinking life, instead of feeling it; the thought of you losing your life, I am beginning to feel mine. My love has me speechless; I lost the words, so I will just have to show you.
My birth was your gift, you being my parent is mine. Can’t say in your absence I will ever be present, but in your presence my pain has always been absent. You created my world by giving me the universe, allowing me to be universal enough to take on the world. I’ll never forget the many times you have forgiven me because you understood development took hitting the wall until I realized I wasn’t going to break it. You made sure to hug me when I needed comfort, confronted me when I didn’t deserve to be hugged, and committed to me when I wasn’t committed. I have followed your lead until I was able to lead; you produced a leader. You are the book that could never be written about parenting; you are the parent that needs to be captured in a book, able to turn the page when you needed to introduce a new chapter. You have modeled hard work and flexibility within structure. You have taught me how to dream wide awake, believing in all the dreams I have awakened. I never wondered about having more because you have never given me less. I lay here thinking about the day I would have to say goodbye, and all I can remember is how blessed I was to say “Hello”!!!!